Even Down to the Details

Yesterday started out so good, with Charlene and Robert arriving at the same time.  The four of us had a grand ole time playing with Jerry.  Then, that wonderful Montana dog, couldn’t wait to take her walk. Every time we have such a good day, it makes me think...."maybe not now"....”maybe I can last a little longer.”  But, then I am reminded that the reason he is doing so well, is that he is surrounded by helpers who are completely focused on him.  Once I left the house, I needed to run by the bank to have some papers notarized.  While I was waiting for the bank manager I sat in the lobby. Now, I’ve been in and out of this bank a million times and have never had a conversation with anyone in the lobby.   Shortly after I sitting down, a woman about my age sat across from me.  We struck up a casual conversation.  She was from New York and was telling me how much she loved it here.  Before long, we realized we were practically neighbors.  THEN IT HAPPENED.  She said, “My husband is in a nursing home.”  Shocked, beyond belief, I said, “You’ve got to be kidding!  I’m about to place my husband in a memory care unit in New Bern.  What’s wrong with your husband?”  She told me that he has dementia and she placed him last April.  IN NEW BERN.  I nearly fell out.  GOD YOU ARE AMAZING.  WHY NOW?  WHAT PERFECT TIMING?

I now have a woman who has walked before me, my age, living right down the road.  As I was called into the office, I said, “We’ve got to get together.  Give me your name and email address.”  THEN....ARE YOU READY?  She handed me her business card.  SHE’S AN ARTIST!  I’m still shaking my head  in shock.


After the day out, I came home to a happy Jerry who was glad to see me.  We ate and sat together to watch TV.  Believe it or not, Jerry kept repeating, “That woman and the old man.  That’s good.”  I knew he was talking about the sing along.  It just another confirmation.  With dementia people, even though they don’t remember, necessarily, events or details, they DO remember the feelings (whether positive or negative).  So there you have it, he remembered those good feelings he had at the birthday party.

HERE IS THE GRAND FINALE OF THE DAY.  I had put out an FYI to people I knew looking to see if anyone had a comfy chair or double bed that they wanted to get rid of.  These are some of Jerry’s needs for his new home.  Our beds at home are too big for the room.  He’s always wanted one of those swiffle rocker thingies and I was always such a snob about them.  I always made sure we had comfy chairs, but they weren’t the kind he grew up with.  I had checked some of the thrift stores and they were pretty shabby. So, I thought I’d just put out the word before having to spend that extra money.   Then the saints called.  Our precious friends from our church, who have grown close to Jerry  said they’d like to buy him his new chair.    What kind of love is this?

Mmmmm.  Mmmmmm.  What a day.