Music and ....."What Happened to My Legs"?

They’re cottage cheese!   (No picture today.)  That was my thought today as I quickly passed by my mirror.  It was shocking but it made me laugh! The reason I told you that is because it was a good thing.  Alzheimer world was about to get me down today.  I was spinning myself right down the emotional drain of despair.  To be perfectly honest, it’s hard to find joy sometimes.   A year and a half ago, most of the residents were in, I’d say, the middle of the late stages.  Most were able to connect in some way.  Not many could talk,however, one could belt out a beautiful tune with gusto!  In recent months, however, it seems that many of the residents have declined very rapidly.  Including Jerry.   There is much confusion in the ranks and the staff has their hands full.  The needs are so great and even though Jerry is perfectly fine in his own world,  I feel this tug to be near.  The end stages could go on for weeks or years.  No one knows.  That being said, the caregiver (me), needs to pace themselves in order not to burn out.

After a desperate call out to my friends, I went about the day trying to focus on things that were positive.  Painting.  I turned on my best weapon.  Music!  Triumphant music!   First the Prelude and Title March of Superman, and the Super Crime Fighter from Superman,  The Stampede from the Lion King, concluded with An American Symphony...the masterpiece played by the London Metropolitan at the end of Mr. Holland’s Opus.  I can just see Richard Dryfus waving his baton in triumph and completion.  Waving my brush across that canvas, I was energized to fight another day!

Hopsice called a few hours later  to give me a report on Jerry.  She couldn’t see much change since last week but  agreed with me that he is not aware of his surroundings.  That is reassuring;  a blessing.  But  even though I miss his being able to respond, I still know he knows me.    Nurse Lucy reaffirmed to me that Jerry was in a safe place and getting the best care.  So, as instructed, I’ll remain in my scheduled routine.  Tomorrow, is my  next visit.