Mirrors and Scales

Frankly, I think the world would be better off without them! While we were dressing this morning, I took the opportunity to get Jerry on the scale.  He was down to 173 pounds.  He asked, “How is it?”  I said, “Great.  You are 193 pounds.” Now that was a boldface lie!  BUT, he stepped off with confidence.  Sometimes with dementia folks, it’s not always important to be right.  If I had told him he was down to 173, he would have stepped off the scale with his head hung low and defeated.  Do you think God will forgive me for that?  I think so.

Jerry is 6’4” and has maintained a weight of 198 since he was 20.  Makes me sick!  Course, he’s never had to bear a child! Or three of them, for that matter.   Anyway, he’s always been such a handsome thing.  What people would call a “HOTTIE”!  He’s my little hottie, that’s for sure.  I’m trying my best to keep him fattened up.  I give him piles of food, which he offers to me.  I tell him “thanks” and that I’ve got mine and his plate is for him.  Still he piddles.  So, I supplement with ice cream, shakes, and fruit, wine, cheese...I mean this guys has no restrictions.  Basically, he eats half of everything he is served. I hear that’s the how thin people eat.  I wouldn’t know.

This care giving thing really has aged me.  Or, at least, I think so.  I mean, we’ve been playing this game this since I was 46.  I can’t believe I was that young when it all started.  Even though I feel like a perky young thing on the inside (sometimes), every time I pass a mirror I see an old woman on the outside.  I’m taken back!  WHO IS THAT?  Whoever it is, that expensive ANTI AGING FACE CREAM isn’t working!  The wrinkles have set in like concrete and they are not going away.

No so for Jerry, though.  Oh no! No wrinkles there.  Only the ones that make you look distinguished!  That’s just not fair.  I hear that dementia patients actually age quit well, because they have no stress.  YOU”VE GOT THAT RIGHT!  The most stress Jerry has is when he is putting on his jammie bottoms.  (Remember that blogpost?)

So, I’m going to start a new petition to send to congress to ban all mirrors and scales.  They can add it to the new government healthcare bill.  I bet it might pass.