Seriously, you guys, I talk to my dog as if she were human.  This living alone thing is quite a new experience. I thought I’d update you on the most recent experiences.  Today, I went to join Jerry for our sing along.  This is the sing along that usually raises the roof with old hymns.  I love it!  Today was a bit different though.  Jerry and I usually sit about 2/3 the way back in the room.  When he got wind that I was in the building and would not sit down.  He kept getting up trying to find me.  Once I walked into the room, he settled down and we took our seats to sing.  (Jerry does not actually sing, but he does move his mouth, so I know he is engaging in what is hidden deep in his heart.)

About half way through, one of the residents began taking off her clothes.  NOW, this really isn’t funny.  The poor activity director kept trying to talk to her, whispering, “Let’s not take our clothes off.  There are men in the room.”  No matter what the matter how patiently she tried to manipulate this precious soul, she was determine to strip!  I’m sorry to laugh....but you just have to.  It’s either laugh or cry.

After singing, I took Jerry out for ice cream.  We drove around for a while, then stopped at one of those new frozen yogurt places where you fill your own cup and pile of toppings.  Honestly, It’s getting a bit comical, because if I ever turn my back on grab a cup or fill a cup with yogurt, he turns and walks away.  I then have to run and grab him to bring him back to me.  The game goes on until I can get him seated with a pile of chocolate covered, brownied yogart sitting in front of him.

When he finished his yogurt, the looked straight into my eyes. Took my hand and said, “I love you.”  I nearly died.  He made a split second connection!  I said, “Oh, I love you too.  Would you like to come home with me?”  He said, “No.”   Hmmmmm.

Anyway, on my way back to his home, I received a call from hospice.  They have decided NOT to re-certify him.  They explained he had not declined enough to keep him.  In some way, I understand that financially EVERYONE cannot continue on hospice.  As scarey as it is...this could last for years.   However, with Alzheimer disease you never know how close they are.  While he has remained fairly stable (at least for today), he could go down fast. It’s so unpredictable.  Several others who are in such a desperate state were declined for recertification beautiful soul was so close to death a few years ago, she is still hanging on, therefore, is NOT IN DECLINE anymore.  (Hospice is a government supported program.)

I suppose I should panic.  For some reason, I cannot.  I can’t explain it.  It may be that the journey with Alzheimers disease is so unpredictable and so “yingie and yangie” that there is nothing secure ...nothing predictable!  It’s the most “live in the moment” test of our lives and I am so  grateful that I know that God holds the future.

With that said....I took Jerry back.  Once we entered his area, he seemed to want to let me go.  Politely, he hugged me.  I asked, “Do you want to go sit on the porch?”  He hesitated.  I comically said, “What?  Are you trying to get rid of me?  Do you want me to go?”  He pointed down the empty hallway and said, “My wife.”  As if he was saying I needed to go now so he could go find his wife.

OH WELL!  Maybe he thought I was the girlfriend all along.  Gotta laugh in order not to cry.