This post is for all the newbies in the group. It's seems like ages ago when we were newbies. Guess it was. Fourteen years. It was the most traumatic and overwhelming time, I think, I've ever experienced. Not only were Jerry and I broken hearted, but we were numb with the thought of the daunting journey ahead of us.
Three times, last week, I was approached by women who's husbands were newly diagnosed. First, a phone call from someone who's husband was older and really struggling. The second was at an art reception on Thursday, when a lovely woman came over to me, bewildered, pointed to her husband, said he's been going to our doctor at Duke and that she had been reading this blog for months. The third was a beautiful Facebook message on Sunday from a young lady who's father has been diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia. He's in his 50's much like Jerry was.
When Jerry was first diagnosed I wanted to escape. In fact, how about to Hydra, the little Greek Island? ...to the Hotel Mistral, voted number one on Trip Advisor. Can you tell I've been day dreaming? Just the fact, that I can think like this is a miracle.
Every time I receive a note from someone, I weep. There have been many dark days. There were days I didn't want to wake up. The emotional and mental pain was just too much to bare. But guess what, I DID WAKE UP! I am here to say.....you can make it! You WILL finish this marathon! Since Jerry has been ill, not only have I survived, but I have grown as a new and stronger person. There IS light at the end of this tunnel.
Their have been many hard things. Such as dropping out of activities in order to care for Jerry. I'd ask myself, "What will I do to generate income and still be able to stay at home with Jerry?" "When should I stop working?" We had to drop out of church activities accept to be occasional attenders. Then there was the guilt and the feeling that I needed to explain. There was a time when I realized that my friends could not always be there for me....the resentment. They had families of their own. Some stuck with us, but some moved on. There were emotional struggles about that and our social life eventually faded away. At least the social life we once knew. Then there were the financial decisions and the insurance decisions. Then the FACILITY decisions. The list goes on and on.
The fact is....since I couldn't "flight", I decided to "fight". I had to....for Jerry. And the thing that has given me the strength to continue to fight is my faith. Dear "newbies" this is a long, long journey and our strength is not our own.
As long as I breath and God leads, I want to give you my support. I do not want this marathon to be in vane. We need each other and there are too many people on this journey. I'll do my best to encourage and inform and even help you laugh. Thank you for reading.