Ok, you caregivers, you. Don’t tell me you haven’t done it. “What?” you say. Turn the hose on your man! Did any of you watch Desperate Housewives a few weeks ago. It was the episode where Orson didn’t want to take a shower. Brie had been Orson’s caregiver and became so frustrated that she rolled him outside in his wheelchair and turned the hose on him. I was laughing so hard I could hardly hold myself up.
I admit it! I’ve done it! Several years ago on an absolutely perfect day, “we” had been doing all sorts of outside projects. You know how it is when spring has arrived and you can’t wait to get out there and plant that new bed of annuals. I brought Jerry out, handed him a shovel, (which he never could figure out how to use) and I began pruning all of winter’s leftovers. We sipped lemonade. Doesn’t that sound romantic? It was probably just a diet coke, but I had to make it fit the painting. Jerry, wandering in and out of the house, and me, digging in the dirt, thoroughly enjoyed putsing around together all day.
What usually happens is I get a little over-enthusiastic and tend to go for too long. I get exhausted and Jerry gets confused. By now, it was getting dark and time to come in. Jerry walked in the front door into our newly painted periwinkle foyer as I stood at the threshold outside watering my last pot of red geraniums. I suggested he go on upstairs and take a shower. Standing in front of the stairwell, he looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked, “up stairs?” I pointed, “Yes, go on up the stairs.” “What stairs?” “Those stairs right in front of you.” “What?” “Go up the stairs, Jerry”. “You mean these stairs”. GRRRRRRRRR! “Yes, those stairs!” With great frustration he spouted out “@$^#”.
Instantly, I felt my skin begin to crawl and tension climb up my neck. As I watched him still standing there, dazed, I raised the water hose that I had in my hand and sent water full blast INTO the foyer. The spraying was relentless! I couldn’t help it! It just came out! It felt so good. But I felt so bad.
Without a sound, Jerry went up the stairs and got dressed. I rolled up the hose and toweled down the foyer, laughing the whole time. I guess this is what you call comic relief. Now listen, you guys, I am not a meanie. I just cracked! Good news is that when Jerry came back down, all dressed and “showered”, we hugged and we laughed about it together. Ah, what a couple.