Ok. So it's not at the Royal Sonesta in New Orleans or at BJ's in historic Pasadena during the Super Bowl. Seriously, I found this Happy Hour to be so cute and funny. Volunteers! They are so great! Once a month this couple comes and provides entertainment for happy hour. He sings. She plays the piano. The pretzels and O'Doul's are passed out. Non-alcolholic wine is poured for the ladies. It's just so cute. (Call me demented.)

Remember, Jerry is in a facility that is for assisted living folks. That means, most of the residents are fairly independent and require only a little help. Jerry is in a locked memory care unit in the back. It's not locked because it's a prison. It's locked for their safety. They get an extra special amount of care. They cannot do for themselves. (Seriously.) They cannot brush their teeth, feed themselves, dress themselves..they cannot even sit on the potty. Yet, they still have an essence of "self" and are treated with dignity and respect. They are family.

For happy hour, the residents in the memory care unit are brought in with the assisted living folks in the front. It works out great and there seems to be no judgement at all regarding anyone's capabilities. It's a beautiful thing to see such acceptance.

Back to today's happy hour. When the entertainers said they were going to do love songs....I thought I was going to gag. Not again. Sappy love songs! Don't you know what you're doing? But, as Jerry drank his O'douls and I snuck a swig, I could hear the "others" singing. I could hear Andy Williams', "Moon River, wider than a mile. I'm crossing you in style someday". These people were singing along. (at least some of them.)

It's not your ordinary happy hour. While the activity director put the brakes on a wheelchair and the nurse replaced the oxygen tank for someone who had run empty....she gave her a kiss on the forehead..and continued to sing along...with those bluesy love songs...."The more I see you...the more I want you", written by Harry Warren and Mack Gordon and Stardust, sung by Nat King Cole.

Guess the reason I didn't get all weepy sad was because Jerry never much cared for those romantic songs. Now, if they had sung "Alabama's fight song" I suppose he would have responded. But, as it was....I was perfectly ok with his drinking his O'Doul's and staring at me. I just couldn't help it when "I'm in the Mood for Love" began. I looked into Jerry's eyes, sarcastically raised my eyebrows and stroked his cheek and sang. I saw a slight grin. I think he caught it...for a second. I could just see a slapstick comedy coming on. But, I refrained myself.

There was a time, though, that was the "pièce de résistance". The perfect moment when one of the crotchety elderly women yelled, "DO YOU HEAR A THING THAT THEY ARE SAYING?" It was a moment to remember.

No pun intended.

The seats were beginning to fill up at gate K7 in Chicago's O'Hare airport. I was recently waiting for a flight to Los Angeles to see my son. I watch crowded hallways with anxious travelers scurrying to make their connections and was reminded of all the trips that Jerry and I had taken together. In fact, I remember the exact place where we were sitting, when a cart drove by carrying the famous Mohammed Ali. Jerry jumped up out of his seat and reached out to shake his hand. Ali graciously accepted the handshake.

Things are different now. But, look at all the memories!

Life at the home is simple. Simple is good for Alzheimer patients. Jerry's body is stiff so it is a challenge just to lift a foot to put on a pant leg or put an arm into a sleeve. Such things as these we healthy people take for granted.

Jerry lives in a secured memory unit that is attached to an assisted living facility. There is one long hallway with bedrooms on each side. The dining room, activity room, and nurses station are in the center. It's a cozy place, with warm and caring staff members, and very energetic activity directors.

To a person who is well, that setting would seem like a prison. I can understand that. But to an Alzheimer patient, the small setting is very secure and creates a sense of comfort. The routine schedule helps eliminate confusion and chaos that so often sends them into a state of fear and resistance.

Jerry's day usually begins with a shower and shave, then breakfast at 7:30am. Music plays to prompt the residents that it's meal time. Once the music begins, the residents slowly begin to move toward the dining hall where each person has their assigned seats. Jerry usually is snapping his fingers to the music. There is usually a staff member at each table to assist in the eating process.

After breakfast, many of the residents go to the main activity room to take an early morning nap. Usually every morning there are activities like dancing, exercise, games, or singing. Some residents are not able to participate because of the progression of their disease, but those who are able, often go on scenic tours around town.

Hospice has been ordered for Jerry, so he also receives visits from a social worker, nurse, CNA, volunteer, chaplain and a doctor.

Jerry is particularly attached to Tom, the maintenance man. He's tall, like Jerry, about the same age, and easy going. They are frequently referred to as the "Tom and Jerry show". Many times you'll find Jerry walking around with Tom, "changing light bulbs". There's a certain positive perk when an Alzheimer patient is allowed to contribute. It makes them feel valued and respected.

Most of the time, activities are held in the morning. Once the afternoon begins to set in Alzheimer patients often experience "sun-downers". Sun downers, in layman's terms, happens late in the day, when they are tired. They can get confused, tired, and agitated so probably the that's the time when a rest would be a good thing. Dinner begins at 4:30. Then TV, then bed.

Like I said. Things are different now.

Happy Hour, Way Too Happy - An Alzheimer Journey by Sue Scoggins

Life at the Home - an Alzheimer Journey