It's 6am and my mind is swirling with things to say. There are so many things to be thankful for. I've just come off of a month long art event and Alzheimer fundraiser and my thoughts are reeling. I am so grateful. So often I think this thing called "Alzheimer's" is catching. Many times I find myself calling people by the wrong name, pricing my art inconsistently, forgetting what art is where. It takes me a moment to collect and organize my thoughts when I'm put under pressure at an art event. Sometimes I'm "spot on", sometimes I'm the poster child for Attention Deficit Disorder. It's embarrassing. It's a miracle that I can find my head sometimes!
I see little miracles all the time. I guess it's an attitude....which is a miracle in itself! When I arrived at Jerry's place to visit yesterday, I could hear singing. The unit was quiet and I could see Jerry sitting, asleep, on the sofa in the living room. All the residents were sitting around the room and the aide was in the corner singing ..."Daisy ..Daisy... Give me your answer do. I'm half crazy over the love of you..." A few of the ladies were singing with her. Let's call them miracles, too. I began singing with them, waltzed on over next to Jerry and put my arm around his shoulder. That was a miracle...the fact that I didn't cry. Honestly, I really didn't even try to talk to him. I just sat there like the rest of them, singing, and chatting with the aide and the other residents. It was like sitting around the living room after a Sunday meal. Very relaxed, warm and fuzzy. ..another miracle.
Like in the last post, sometimes the only thing that is needed is just to "be". To press up against him. To feel his soft sleeve and to hold his hand. That is a miracle.
I suppose I'm a person who does a lot of thinking. My dad was like that. He was slow to speak, read his Bible, and prayed for those who were laid on his heart. As a child I use to get frustrated with him. I'd call him "the thinker", after the bronze sculpture by Auguste Rodin, The Thinker.
It's hard to think this was our future. Who would have thought that in our 50's Jerry and I would end up like this? Who would have thought that the bright, magnetic, type "A" would end up so frail and in this state of non responsiveness? Who would have thought that his quiet, introverted bride would become an artist and extrovert. Now, THAT WAS A MIRACLE! To have seen this future before it came to be would have been "unthinkable". Yet, with each passing day, I see the future as not mine. It is a walk. An opportunity. So, without looking too far ahead, I follow this lamp before my feet, knowing God has gone before me. I see miracles all the time...spiritual miracles and I'm overwhelmed at the treasures I've discovered.
Oh yeah. We are about to have our sixth grandchild. Our first baby girl will be born any day now. Now, THAT IS A MIRACLE! So, for you newbies out there.....you will make it. YOU ARE A MIRACLE TOO!