Today, an engineer came out to the house. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. It wasn't. The engineer told me in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get my retaining wall rebuilt….soon…the next heavy rain might cause my entire foundation to cave right on into the wetlands. Now, this is not your daughter's retaining wall….it's YO MOMMA'S. We're taking MAJOR PROBLEMS!
A couple of months ago, we had a category 4 hurricane heading straight for our coastline. We were under mandatory evacuation. Then, that little bugger storm turned and went straight north. Whew! About a week or two later, however, a teeny weeny little tropical storm dumped around 22 inches of rain on us in about 24 hours.
Back to the engineer. The teeny weeny little storm had shoved water right into ceilings in three rooms, but I decided not to panic. Don't sweat the small stuff, right? After all, it's not eternal. Well, after talking to the contractor about the ceiling repairs, I noticed that my flower bed was missing. You heard it….my flower bed was missing. I walked over to the edge of my yard and found that the water from that storm had forced the retaining wall to begin to cave in and plates of shifting sand are falling away. Guestimation costs….$40-$50,000! DID YOU HEAR THAT!
So far, I'm still not sweating. I"M IN SHOCK! I mean, what am I going to do? If I don't get it repaired and the foundation shifts, the decks will begin to pull away from the house, and pilings could give way as the foundation is compromised. I have no choice but to get it fixed. Here...just let me pull out my checkbook! Remember, I'm the one that sells paintings to pay for respite care.
"Hey, GOD, are you listening? I know you are and there has been absolutely no trial when you haven’t been there right beside me. The pilings are broken, with two more on the way. Here, God, let me make sure you see those. There they are. See those splits in the pilings? And here...my yard is caving in. THE YARD THAT HOLDS MY HOUSE UP! Course, you know that, don't you, God? You know all about foundations, huh. ..."
"I know, I know. You say you will never leave me or forsake me. I know that. And you are much, much bigger than this stupid retaining wall. You created the universe!"
I’m just leavin’ it all..up to you-u-u.....(isn’t that song?)
Now, 50 paintings, $1000 each, 50 clients. 25 paintings, $2000 each, 25 clients. 100 paintings $500 each, 100 clients. 1000 paintings, $50 each, clients……..