Received a Message Yesterday

It read:  "Sue, I just was informed that we will have a male shared room available possibly by the end of this week.” Saturday will be our 39th anniversary.  I knew, in the back of mind,  if would be our anniversary. Lord Jesus,

I am not ready.  I don’t know how to pray.  I don’t know what to say.  Show me if this is truly from you and not caused by my weakness or selfishness.  Can I still continue at home?  I am asking for a miracle.  Give him Ivan as a roommate. Speak to me.  Lord, let me know if you are there.

Lord, let me be gentle.  Protect Jerry from being hurt.  Show me what to do.  Prepare his heart and his mind.  Guide me with a peaceful countenance.  Lead the way into this next phase.  Help him to feel warmth and love in his new home........


After the shock, I went downstairs and began going through insurance benefits and looking for financial resources.  For some reason, that moved me in a positive direction and kept me focused while Jerry was out with Bruce.  I called my kids and got their input, then sent a few friends a prayer request.  After thinking about it, I decided to be completely honest with Jerry about the whole thing.  We’ve had nothing but honesty between us our entire marriage and I just didn’t feel right about being manipulative.  So I called Kathy at Homeplace and discovered that there was a birthday celebration going on on Tuesday.  That would be a nice little introduction for Jerry.

Here’s the way it went.  Once we got into bed, I sat up and said, “Jerry, I’ve got to talk to you about something.”  He looked at me with those giant “what did I do?” eyes.  I said, “You know, we’ve always been honest, right?”  He said, “I guess.” I continued, “Well, we’ve had a lot of people coming in to help you lately.  Everyday.  I’ve been talking to the doctor and we all think that you need even more help.  We want what’s best for you and for you to be safe.  Do you understand?”  Jerry, “I guess so.”  “Well, do you know how much I love you and want what’s best for you?”  “Yes.”  “Well, I’ve been looking for places where you can get help around the clock for a while.  I need you to be brave and to cooperate.” He began asking how I found it and when did I do this.  I said, “I’ve been looking for a long time and I think I’ve found a place where you would be happy.  You’ll be surrounded by  people all the time.”   (boy, I was sweating bullets by now, but so far so good.)  Then, I looked over and noticed a little laugh and a smile.  Relieved, I said, “Guess what?  The head nurse’s name is Jerry.”  “Jerry!” he loves his name.  “And their church services are from Calvary Baptist Church, just like where you grew up.   I’d like to take you there to look at the place.  They’ve got a big birthday party tomorrow.”   He agreed, then his face became relaxed.  After about a minute, he softly said, “It’s the right thing.”

So, after all the angst, I thank you all for your prayers.    Jerry demonstrated the best of himself last night.