It's year 15 now and Jerry is holding his own. One day is it virtually impossible to wake him up. The next day he is fairly alert, seems like he recognizes people, and is actually wanting to go for a walk. There no predicting.... no expectation....every day is different. In order to keep from going crazy myself, I've decided NOT to evaluate each and every day individually..but to look at everything as a "way of life". Everyone living has good days and bad, happiness and sadness, vibrant days and exhausting days. It's a choice in attitude that we must make.
It's time for an attitude adjustment to the Sunny Side (I love that song!) So, to make things a little brighter, I'm going to change my vocabulary. From now on it goes like this.
WEAK (sounds so negative and pitiful). Weak wIll be termed as RELAXED. Sort of like when you are totally relaxed on the couch and you don't want to get up. When someone says "Get up." You respond by raising your hands and saying "Pull me up." Most of us would call that lazy...but I'm calling it so relaxed that you can't get up. It's not a bad thing. It's actually nice. As Jerry continues he will become more "RELAXED".
GLAZED (sounds so foggy, distant, and again, pitiful...unless we're talking donuts). Glazed will now be termed DREAMY. Dreamy, which are the way Jerry's eyes have always been will become dreamier. That's not such a bad thing either. Maybe they are dreaming about heaven.
APHASIA (the inability to speak)...we'll call that the "silent treatment". Heaven knows, as any dutiful wife would do, I've given him the silent a few times.
SLEEPING (which we all know is slumped over in a chair). Sleeping will now be termed NAPPING. Oh, what I wouldn't do to get a nap.
CONFUSED/DISORIENTED (sounds so disconcerting.) Confused will now become BLOND. Funny, because he's the dark headed one with the good head on his shoulders. I'm a blond. So I get it!
WEEPY (sounds so sad). Weepy will now become TOUCHED..as in a moment of reflection that is joyful to the heart, like when we sing hymns. These are tears of joy.
UNRESPONSIVE (sounds so "gone"). Unresponsive will now be termed as on VACATION. Now, doesn't that sound so much better? Think of your best vacation...don't you occasionally find yourself drifting off to your favorite place? At some point, Jerry will be on permanent vacation in Heaven, free of this terrible disease forever. It doesn't get an better than that.
And when people ask, "How is Jerry doing?" I will answer. "He is at peace. He really is at peace."
Keep on the Sunny Side, always on the sunny side.......of life.