Don't know about you, but I've come to realize that I need to be touched.
Right this minute, Jerry and I are sitting on the sofa, drinking our morning coffee and laughing along with Ellen Degeneres. I needed to do a little admin stuff, so I brought my computer upstairs, pulled a TV tray up and decided to catch up while hanging out with him. He thinks that's great. (He thinks, I'm making money. HAHAHAHA. Little does he know.)
While typing away, Jerry noticed me straining my neck. (I've had a cervical fusion that gets inflamed now and then.) All of a sudden, I felt his warm soft hand on my neck and I completely broke out into chills. Oh my goodness, I thought I was going to melt into the sofa. My arms went limp and I felt all the stress flow out of my body. Then, HE QUIT!
One thing that I've missed throughout this ordeal, is his touch. Not that we were all touchy feely, nor were we the PDA type, but we did hug and we did dance around the room when good music came on the radio. He also use to use me as his teddy bear when we slept. In fact, he'd have me so constrained with his arms and legs that I couldn't move. That doesn't happen now.
We all need to have those endorphines released with a hug or embrace, or arm around the waist. As Jerry has progressed his arms have become less active. He keeps his right arm in his pocket and stiffly swings his left as he walks. In bed, he sleeps on his back and is so boney that we don't cuddle too much. Even though it use to drive me crazy, I've discovered that now I miss it.
Anyway, I've started getting a massage (when I can afford it). My girl, Julia, is the best deep tissue therapist I've ever been to. She finds those pressure points and digs those elbows right in. It hurts so good! It took several treatments to even get the muscle over my scapula to move. I mean my wingbone (that's what my momma called it) was stuck like concrete.
Ok. I'm picking up the phone. I'm going this afternoon. Can't stand it anymore. I'll have to rob a bank first, but I'm going! Signing out for now. You caregivers! Go get a massage. Ya hear! All marathoners need their massages and that's what we are.