Last night we had friends over to grill steaks on the deck. The night was perfect for sitting under the umbrella with a candle or two, eating and laughing. Don't misunderstand. Jerry does not exactly participate, but he listens and sometimes catches the gist of things and lets out a belting laugh. That gets the rest of us laughing. One thing that Alzheimer disease has done for us is let go of social norms and superficial expectations. I never was a social climber and definately was never a "groupie" or clique person. There are way too many cool people in this world to know OUTSIDE the clique. And I figure that if I really believe in God, and he put people in my path, then I'd better be a good representation of Him. As far as I'm concerned everyone on this earth is his loving creation, on their journey designed by him, and who am I to question it. I was placed here to love others along the way.
ANYWAY, sorry about the sermon. Back to social expectations. I never was a china and silver type of girl. But I've fallen in love with beautiful works of art. So, now, when I have people over, I use my antique silver and funky pottery, turn on some flamenco music, put on my flip flops and let the fun begin.
Jerry likes all the activity. I think. I try to keep the party to sixish. Two couples might make it a little uncomfortable to the other guy, because he might be saddled with Jerry all night. More than 8 can be too many. Jerry may as well retreat to his room. Six is just right. I make sure our friends are all cognisant of him. Whenever we sit on the deck, they make sure Jerry is sitting right in the middle, not on the end. If he were on the end, he'd surely be left out and begin to withdraw. Even though the chatter is fast and furious, most of our friends have a keen ear turned toward Jerry, so that if he were to mumble something...like EF Hutton...everybody stops and people listen.
As far as the grill goes, Jerry doesn't do that anymore. That can get kind of tricky. Men are usually happy to help me out, but I have to be mindful not to give the impression that they are "replacing Jerry". Instead of being prideful and taking over his jobs, it's better for them to be gracious and say something like, "hey, LET's check out these steaks, Jerry." Does that make sense?
When we sat down to eat, Jerry could not eat due to his concern about Montana dog. I had put her on the lower deck so we could eat in peace. However, she decided to make her voice known and whine. Mean ole me wasn't going to have that, so down in her crate she went. That did not sit well with Jerry, but, everyone tried to distract his obsession with her. Eventually, he smiled his chesure cat grin and "behaved".
Anyway, that's it for today. That's enough education for you in social situations. I'll think of some more as the days go along. In the meantime, have fun, be thoughtful, and keep on laughing.