Made It from the Brink

Yesterday was a really good day. Whew! I didn't think I'd make it through the last few days. Since we're back in paradise now, we able to get back in the routine. Jerry really likes going out with his "man sitters", Robert and John. Both of them have such a good relationship with Jerry and he definitely feels a kinship to them. Honestly, would you want to be around ME all the time? When he returns from a day with them, I know he's had a good time because his spirits seem lifted. Now, he cannot tell me a thing about what they did, nor do I even know if he remembers, but that's now what matters anymore. What matters is that he's happy and secure. When we change our routine, he is constantly reminded of how he is not able to do things. From brushing his teeth in a new sink, sleeping in a new bed, to finding a new place to sit....everything is a new thought a final exam. Do you remember how you felt after a final exam? Mentally exhausted! That's how it is in Alzheimer world. Once the "done" or "toasted" limit has been reached, he's a goner. AND SO AM I. I mean, I couldn't even get Jerry to put his head under the shower to rinse the soap out of his hair. His body was so stiff, it wouldn't bend. (He's 6'4") In our own world, on a good day, he can actually step back under the shower and rinse it himself.

Yesterday, while Jerry was out, I decided to do some personal painting. I've been moved lately at the wonderful ways women help each other, so I began painting a little series of women paintings. Two, in particular, were personal in that women friends can listen, relate, cry, pray, sing, dance and laugh together. What's even more cool is that ALL of that can be done in one sitting. It's a wonderful thing. It takes a while to let your guard down and be vulnerable, but I believe in the long run it's better to be real than to pretend.

So, with that said, I hear Jerry outside my glass door. That's not pretend. He's really there. Tata for now.