Jerry’s inconsistency and irrational behaviors have really played a number on me. He is only happy if he and I have our Velcro strip stuck together. One night, I’ll say “That’s it, I can’t do this anymore.” Then in the morning, I say, “I can’t send him away.” I’ve had so many well meaning and wonderful people wanting to help me and wanting to do what’s best for Jerry. Some want to help so he can stay home. Others say he’s lost touch with reality and I need to put him in a facility. All I can say, is that I don’t want to have any regrets. I don’t want to “put” him somewhere, just so I can go on with my life. He IS my life! “til death do us part.” Remember?
Ok. Now, that I’ve decided that, “I’ve got to figure out how to do this task that’s been set before me.”
In a panic, I emailed his doctor last night and we set up a phone chat this morning. We went over his meds and routine with a fine toothed comb. She gently reminded me of how even the slightest variation in his routine can wreak havoc in his mind. If I miss or double his Aricept by accident, it could cause intestinal problems. Intestinal problems or any health variation at all can create confusion. I must be religious about his medicines. We are also, giving his anti-anxiety drug, half in the morning and half at night. Hopefully this way he can sleep. She said sleep depravation just causes continual confusion and exhaustion. (for both of us.)
She also suggested a poster, with dates, schedules, pictures or reminders to help him remember what’s next. I wanted to do this over a year ago...but Ms. Procrastinator wanted to paint instead. Remember having a preschooler? Breakfast. Preschool. Naptime. (“go back to bed”.) Play time. Dinner time. TV time. Bedtime. (“go back to bed.”)
We will be very strict for two weeks without any altering to see if we can get him stable. Sort of like a "no spontaneity" fast! Yikes! THIS WILL BE HARD FOR ME....THE SPONTANEITY QUEEN! You know, artists are not known for rigidity and routine. I can already tell this will be hard, because I just talked to a friend who wanted to go somewhere tomorrow. Said, we can bring Jerry. There goes that routine! And, there’s a CAT 4 hurricane, Earl, sitting off our coast. Hmmm, let’s just keep sticking to that routine, ok?
No really, I’m going to do my best to see if we can get him stabilized. Off to get my poster board now.