Do Ya’ll Think I Need a Shrink?

Ok.  Why is it that I exercise at the gym and come home to eat 3 brownies (small ones)?  Why do I paint my fingers to the bone to pay for someone to come stay with Jerry...while I PAINT?  Why do I pay a cabana boy to be with Jerry while I get my hair cut when I could just bring him along?  Why is it that I move to the beach and hardly ever go to the beach?  Why do I move away from my adorable grandsons to have a life of my own....when I don’t have a life of my own?  Sometimes things seem so futile. Let me be honest about this nanny thing.  Yesterday, Jerry was with John all day. (6 hours)  Remember, it was a wonderful day for me to try on 3 cart loads of clothes from TJMAXX.  Really! Why do I need clothes, when I never go anywhere?  Seriously!  Anyway, when I got home, Jerry was a real grump.  His hip was bothering him and he wanted to let me know about it.  He was so frustrated that he walked over to the vacuum cleaner, picked it up, and threw it down to the ground.  HARD!  Now, let me tell you...I don’t do violence very well.  I just stood there, holding a plate of food that I had fixed for him....I held it up and said, “Do you want me to throw this at you?”  DON’T WORRY!  I DIDN’T.  Believe me, if he were not sick, and with my pent up emotions, I would have hurled that plate right towards his handsome little head!  Course, then I would have crawled on my knees begging for forgiveness.  That was IF HE WERE NOT SICK!

Anyway, today, John had him for what was suppose to be 4 hours.  At the 3 hour mark, he brought Jerry to me and said, “I’m just going to have to owe you an hour.”  He gave me the eye, meaning, Jerry reeeally wanted  home.  We were at my friend’s house and I was getting my hair cut.  Once Jerry saw me, he was relieved and happy.  I mean....what am I suppose to do?  My sweet friend just took Jerry and sat him down and began giving him is own haircut.  He loved it and felt so important.  (Besides, she’s really cute and loves him to death.)

I think I’m going to have to slowly ease into this nanny thing.  Jerry’s not going to take it lightly if I get someone every day of the week.  He really likes the people who come to see him now...but I think, until now, he’s thought they were coming to be his friend.  Now, I think he’s beginning to catch on that they are coming to relieve me.  It’s a totally different viewpoint.  Once, I had him with me today, we went to the grocery store and had a snack on our deck.  He was pretty happy with that.  Somehow, I need to finesse my way in to this.  We are still at team.  At least, that’s the way I need to make him feel. We are still an “item” and we are still best buds.  In no way can he feel that he’s being shoved aside.   This is going to be a process.

We’re having a “date” tonight to the movies.