It's Sunday and you know what that means, don't you? A NAP! No, really, today we studied about worry. Believe me, I could share a thing or two about worry. Worry can take me over that waterfall so quick that I'd be drowning in no time.
In the beginning stages of this disease I learned that it would be a waste of time and energy to worry about things that may never happen. Will he go crazy? Will he become incontinent? What will I do if he wanders? What if I die before he does? What will happen to him? There's a ton of scripture about worry...in fact, there's a whole passage about the cure for anxiety in Matthew 6:25-34.
Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt. 6:34
You got that right? It's all I can do not to lose my patience with Jerry on a daily basis.
For me, I didn't find it hard to give up worrying about Jerry's health. Once I realized there was nothing I could do about it and that the Alzheimer disease would take its course just the way it wanted, I was able to let go of control. And death, is something that neither of us fear because of our belief in spending eternity with God.
I think the hardest thing for me are the things that I feel responsible for, like: finances! We were very fortunate in that Jerry did well in his early years and had enough to live on with very little income for 12 years. (so far.) His "going out" early, however did not allow us much time to prepare for the future. (HA! What a crazy notion. Prepare for the future. Who could ever prepare for this!) Sorry for the sarcasm. Let's get back to finances. If I'm not careful, I can get really freaked out over how long I can make it last. I've been prepared for years to sell our home, move into a smaller home or apartment, if that's what I had to do to pay for a facility. Now, however, with America's economic downturn, I wouldn't be able to get the equity out of it that I needed to continue to provide for Jerry. And there's not enough in our IRAs or retirement funds to pay for a nice dinner at a fine dining restaurant! YA SEE HOW THE WORRY BALL IS STARTING TO ROLL ?
I don't know the percentages, but I know that many Alzheimer patients end up with full time nursing care or in assisted living communities that drain every penny of what has been accumulated. So, do I just go ahead and spend? Or do I save every scrap for later? Do I go broke now? Or do I go broke later? The government sure isn't going to help out because we actually DO have a little income. See? The worry ball keeps rolling faster and faster. Course, he may never reach that point. There's that worry thing again. I'll keep him at home and hire help. You heard it. HIRE! Hire does not mean work for free. Cha- ching! I honestly don't see any earthly solution. ACCEPT.... Better sell more paintings! That's REAL CAUSE FOR WORRY!
Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7